Asalamualaikum.
What's on your mind?
Facebook always asks me that question. Every time when I'm online I'll see that question. Feel like to tell the whole world about what's on my mind right now but when I think and think and think. Nah, no need to but why's that so?
Because no one cares darling! Are you serious? You're not one of the hollywood stars even though you're a hollywood star still I don't give a damn. Seriously? Yeah, seriously.
And so seems that no one following my blog. I gonna tell ya a secret to my cheeky bum bum blog what's on my mind right now? You wanna know? Okay this is it.
What's on my mind? Well, someone who always make me laugh, cry and love my self every time when he be by my side either on phone or in front of me. Who loves to see me laughing because of my innocent laugh- Muahahahah! Kidding, actually he loves to say this to me an ayu girl laugh, ehe ehe mallu- Whuttttttttt? Hahahahahahahah that's funny! And that made me laugh. And also he falls in love again and again when he sees me laughing. *Blushing. Well he said that!
Okay fine.
I miss him, and I'm gonna miss him when he's not around anymore not like usual, accompany me to library, lunch together, hanging out, jogging even sleeping too. Oh baby, take a good care of your self there, I'm not there around anymore. Kuantan is not too far away from Gombak but you know, 4 years feels like forever when you keep on falling in love. I know there will be mid sem breaks and others, I don't care about that all I know is I want him back and be around me all the time like when we're in foundation.
Please, why so far away?
How I wish you can change place from Kuantan to Gombak tak pun from Gombak tu Kuantan pun boleyy. Hahah, okay okay.
Soo sleepy, whatever it is I love you babe.
You're my tough guy my man!
Xoxo.
Walaikumusalam.
18 August 2014
07 August 2014
My Family
Asalamualaikum.
Testing testing Tab3 Mc. Okay jewh type using this thing, lambai tangan macam model jewh chuols.
Well talking about family, actually we are some kind of weirdest family that we have found in this world. Okay just me, I'm the only one who felt it and my younger brother too, and my sister too.
Okay whatever. I have a big happy family, not so that very happy at all. Okay la, a bit happy and some times sad some times feel regret? Why regret Ipah? Why? Tell meh, tell mehhhh!
Naw naw I'm just joking man. Take it easy, Isaac is a cool guy, a very cool mexican guy. Okay not related at all, he's not my family just a famous viner.
Yeah enough said, the family members are...
Starts with...
NENET UMING, MEK, KAKNA, ABE ZUL, HILMI, MAMAT, TAYAH, JUNNUN, KAKNING, ABE, ELIN, YO, KAKAK, ABAS, UMAR, ABE JU, KAKTIAH, ABE AMIR, AKIS, AHDIB, KAKIRA, ABE APIR, ESAR, BIWI, KAKYI, KAKCHA, ME, AND JUPIK.
We are ten siblings and have our own different attitudes that Mek had to take care of when we were kids, but now all of us had grown up but still Mek has to control us. Yeah, mom of course she gets worried on everything.
You know what I'm saying right?
You don't know? You have to know then.
Well that's it ladies and gentlemen.
So bye.
Walaikumusalam.
Testing testing Tab3 Mc. Okay jewh type using this thing, lambai tangan macam model jewh chuols.
Well talking about family, actually we are some kind of weirdest family that we have found in this world. Okay just me, I'm the only one who felt it and my younger brother too, and my sister too.
Okay whatever. I have a big happy family, not so that very happy at all. Okay la, a bit happy and some times sad some times feel regret? Why regret Ipah? Why? Tell meh, tell mehhhh!
Naw naw I'm just joking man. Take it easy, Isaac is a cool guy, a very cool mexican guy. Okay not related at all, he's not my family just a famous viner.
Yeah enough said, the family members are...
Starts with...
NENET UMING, MEK, KAKNA, ABE ZUL, HILMI, MAMAT, TAYAH, JUNNUN, KAKNING, ABE, ELIN, YO, KAKAK, ABAS, UMAR, ABE JU, KAKTIAH, ABE AMIR, AKIS, AHDIB, KAKIRA, ABE APIR, ESAR, BIWI, KAKYI, KAKCHA, ME, AND JUPIK.
We are ten siblings and have our own different attitudes that Mek had to take care of when we were kids, but now all of us had grown up but still Mek has to control us. Yeah, mom of course she gets worried on everything.
You know what I'm saying right?
You don't know? You have to know then.
Well that's it ladies and gentlemen.
So bye.
Walaikumusalam.
07 July 2014
Happy! Tajuk tak kena dengan isi like always
Asalamualaikum.
Aactually I'm about to work in Puncak Alam, I'll go there maybe tomorrow and I've told Kedid that I wanted to see him so badly. But this morning I got a call from mom, she asked me to go home because something had happened at home, she really needs me to help her in this situation. My youngest brother, lovely brother had problem with school, mom told me that I'm the only one who can help them because my brother won't listen to anyone else besides me.
Prepare for the plastic bag to throw up.
So I need to go home immediately but first I really wanted to see Kedid. I miss him so much, it's been a long time I didn't see him in front of me eyes. I wish I can spend a day with him before I go home, oh man my man, wanna see you so badly miss you so badly. How can I erase everything about him and everything that we've done together if you are the best thing in my life? I always be waiting for you, I don't care you mad or hate or what I'll still be waiting for you.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my blog so if I wanna write about my love so let me write because it's mine. But you can vomit and throw up if you want to I don't mind as long as you're throwing up on your own laptop not on mine. Bhahah sorry for being cruel.
Another thing, the offer letter attacking us today! How Kalong wish I can be in a same mahallah with her, hope so sister I hope we'll be in the same place. But what if I'll be far away from them? Kalong, Jaa, Ina? My god how can I survive? Of course I'll survive! *Joget alien. And...
Oh oh I forgot that last night I spent One day and a half with Kalong and I met Ina sekejap just to ask how's she doing right now. Well she's fine and getting thinner, I hope she'll always doing fine in her life. By the way, the weather in Gombak at night is so cold, I can feel the sharpness of the fresh wind stinging my legs. So cold man, it almost cramping my body. With the guards that falling from the sky standing everywhere, the big campuses and colleges, the people that I don't recognize their faces okay I mean new faces. Der, that's short semester kau tak masuk long semester, will be more disturbing with the new faces. My gosh, sorry I'm a bit excited because that's for the first time and forever! *Anna singing. Okay kidding, Yeah! So excited to go into that university in a wrong way as a stranger. Some kind of, illegal immigrants get into Malaysia. Okay too abroad, sorry again.
I forgot to tell ya we went to KLCC, what the heck Ipah you talk to much untill you forget to tell more about last night. Can't you see that I'm so excited to go to Gombak, I think after this I'll be like meh I've been here once and no more excitement feeling in my self. Damn! What a waste, but it's okay then.
Okay! KLCC! You can our pictures, wait meh got to download first,
BUT FIRST LEMME TAKE A SELFIES!
Aactually I'm about to work in Puncak Alam, I'll go there maybe tomorrow and I've told Kedid that I wanted to see him so badly. But this morning I got a call from mom, she asked me to go home because something had happened at home, she really needs me to help her in this situation. My youngest brother, lovely brother had problem with school, mom told me that I'm the only one who can help them because my brother won't listen to anyone else besides me.
Prepare for the plastic bag to throw up.
So I need to go home immediately but first I really wanted to see Kedid. I miss him so much, it's been a long time I didn't see him in front of me eyes. I wish I can spend a day with him before I go home, oh man my man, wanna see you so badly miss you so badly. How can I erase everything about him and everything that we've done together if you are the best thing in my life? I always be waiting for you, I don't care you mad or hate or what I'll still be waiting for you.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my blog so if I wanna write about my love so let me write because it's mine. But you can vomit and throw up if you want to I don't mind as long as you're throwing up on your own laptop not on mine. Bhahah sorry for being cruel.
Another thing, the offer letter attacking us today! How Kalong wish I can be in a same mahallah with her, hope so sister I hope we'll be in the same place. But what if I'll be far away from them? Kalong, Jaa, Ina? My god how can I survive? Of course I'll survive! *Joget alien. And...
Oh oh I forgot that last night I spent One day and a half with Kalong and I met Ina sekejap just to ask how's she doing right now. Well she's fine and getting thinner, I hope she'll always doing fine in her life. By the way, the weather in Gombak at night is so cold, I can feel the sharpness of the fresh wind stinging my legs. So cold man, it almost cramping my body. With the guards that falling from the sky standing everywhere, the big campuses and colleges, the people that I don't recognize their faces okay I mean new faces. Der, that's short semester kau tak masuk long semester, will be more disturbing with the new faces. My gosh, sorry I'm a bit excited because that's for the first time and forever! *Anna singing. Okay kidding, Yeah! So excited to go into that university in a wrong way as a stranger. Some kind of, illegal immigrants get into Malaysia. Okay too abroad, sorry again.
I forgot to tell ya we went to KLCC, what the heck Ipah you talk to much untill you forget to tell more about last night. Can't you see that I'm so excited to go to Gombak, I think after this I'll be like meh I've been here once and no more excitement feeling in my self. Damn! What a waste, but it's okay then.
Okay! KLCC! You can our pictures, wait meh got to download first,
BUT FIRST LEMME TAKE A SELFIES!
People jog but us just take a walk next time we'll jog.
Hohoh!
Why Kalong so sweet not like me have a big weird face!
Kisses from us KLCC xoxo!
Okay this one, I posed and then she told me I'm just trying to fix my tudung suddenly this what I got from her.
Honestly I really fail in poses and smiles, this what you get when you forced yourself to smile Ipah!
WE ARE CUTE M KAY BYE!
Wish to see us, Kalong Jaa Ina and me next time. Wanna spend time with you guys. I love you guys! you guys my best adopted sisters in my life. Hohoh!
Pharrell Williams *Because I'm happy!
Walaikumusalam.
03 July 2014
Jobs
Asalamualaikum.
Well I quit quit and quit from my job. You know why? Because I'm too tired to work and get up early in the morning one of my weaknesses. Okay I told Kedid that I'm okay to get up in the morning and actually I'm fine with that if the job is really interesting for me, if not meh I'm not going to wake up babe.
And I'm doomed, seriously last night trying to get a job from a laundry nearby but you know actually I've got the job and this morning I phoned the 'perkhidmatan nadi putra' so whatever tu and then they told me that bus from P14 to P15h TAK ADA!
I was like seriously how can people from P15h nak pegi memana without transportation? By walk eh? So tired meh panas kemain.
Or all of em have their own cars? Okay so rich niggers so rich.
So whatever lah all I know now is I'm so bored and I have to do something otherwise I'll be crying like a baby who wants a milkshake. Okay I got it from a song, but really really I'll be crying and moaning entire of this semester break.
I don't get it how can unemployed people can stand doing nothing in their each everyday life? Guys aren't you feel like screaming or bored or feeling like doing something useful? Takkan everyday lepak?
After job by jobs, now I realize I'm some kind of human who can't stand doing some thing I mean my job under pengawasan of someone. One more thing I hate to deal with people especially in serious way, wanna be chill with everyone have fun relaxing and knowing some one who is willing to share about their culture or life. Love language and other cultures, don't mind even its religions pun I love it. Just for fun to gain knowledge in fun way.
What type of a job should I be in?
Sounds weird lah, and a bit mengada I guess.
Help me with my weird course that I'll be taking in Gombak. I don't know lah. I love meeting people but not in serious way.
That's it I'm outta here nigger.
Wasalamualaikum.
Well I quit quit and quit from my job. You know why? Because I'm too tired to work and get up early in the morning one of my weaknesses. Okay I told Kedid that I'm okay to get up in the morning and actually I'm fine with that if the job is really interesting for me, if not meh I'm not going to wake up babe.
And I'm doomed, seriously last night trying to get a job from a laundry nearby but you know actually I've got the job and this morning I phoned the 'perkhidmatan nadi putra' so whatever tu and then they told me that bus from P14 to P15h TAK ADA!
I was like seriously how can people from P15h nak pegi memana without transportation? By walk eh? So tired meh panas kemain.
Or all of em have their own cars? Okay so rich niggers so rich.
So whatever lah all I know now is I'm so bored and I have to do something otherwise I'll be crying like a baby who wants a milkshake. Okay I got it from a song, but really really I'll be crying and moaning entire of this semester break.
I don't get it how can unemployed people can stand doing nothing in their each everyday life? Guys aren't you feel like screaming or bored or feeling like doing something useful? Takkan everyday lepak?
After job by jobs, now I realize I'm some kind of human who can't stand doing some thing I mean my job under pengawasan of someone. One more thing I hate to deal with people especially in serious way, wanna be chill with everyone have fun relaxing and knowing some one who is willing to share about their culture or life. Love language and other cultures, don't mind even its religions pun I love it. Just for fun to gain knowledge in fun way.
What type of a job should I be in?
Sounds weird lah, and a bit mengada I guess.
Help me with my weird course that I'll be taking in Gombak. I don't know lah. I love meeting people but not in serious way.
That's it I'm outta here nigger.
Wasalamualaikum.
24 June 2014
Half nukilan #3 Extraordianry love story
Asalamualaikum.
Most of us women used to fall in love to a guy, pftt guys. Hahah, but once you meet him, I mean a guy that you really fall into him until you can't even live without him. Trust me you'll stick to him until the end of his life and he'll start to regret for flirting on you before. Trust me again, once you walk away from his life, he'll be like "Damn, what I've done?". This is reality, even though he keeps on saying "I won't lick my own spit that I've spitted on the floor." Why? Because you're too ego to admit that everything is your fault. If you know how to treat her well, she won't walk away just like that unless she's a bitch. That's it, got it?
I heard so many love stories from my friends, by the way I'm some kind of who really love to observe my newly friends attitude. The way she walks, talks, glares at something, the ignorance that she did on someone or something. Women can't lie, I can see it through them eyes unless she's a bitch, there you go again, sorry for using harsh word.
Many of us used to be heart broken by a guy and then afraid of accepting other guy who's trying to approach us. I mean them, okay us. Including me, well I have to admit that me as a woman also used to be heart broken by many guys. Well I don't give a damn, I'll keep on finding my prince charming or he' s the one who has to find me? Okay enough. Women bear on everything, she's willing to do anything to make her partner satisfy in their relationship. She'll never think about herself, all she knows is she wanted the guy always with her until her partner can't even has a life. Then he'll get bored and bla bla bla argumentative stupidity of them revealed by themselves. Juvenile crying under the blanket, both are ego and who's going to pursue whom? The ignorance a week to two weeks, suddenly got a text. "I miss you."
What a pain brothers and sisters, actually guys I mean girls wake up! We are strong, we can do anything without em, em can't do everything without us. They take us for granted treated us like slaves, it's like he can do anything that he likes on us. No!
Why can't finish this meh?
Walaikumusalam.
Most of us women used to fall in love to a guy, pftt guys. Hahah, but once you meet him, I mean a guy that you really fall into him until you can't even live without him. Trust me you'll stick to him until the end of his life and he'll start to regret for flirting on you before. Trust me again, once you walk away from his life, he'll be like "Damn, what I've done?". This is reality, even though he keeps on saying "I won't lick my own spit that I've spitted on the floor." Why? Because you're too ego to admit that everything is your fault. If you know how to treat her well, she won't walk away just like that unless she's a bitch. That's it, got it?
I heard so many love stories from my friends, by the way I'm some kind of who really love to observe my newly friends attitude. The way she walks, talks, glares at something, the ignorance that she did on someone or something. Women can't lie, I can see it through them eyes unless she's a bitch, there you go again, sorry for using harsh word.
Many of us used to be heart broken by a guy and then afraid of accepting other guy who's trying to approach us. I mean them, okay us. Including me, well I have to admit that me as a woman also used to be heart broken by many guys. Well I don't give a damn, I'll keep on finding my prince charming or he' s the one who has to find me? Okay enough. Women bear on everything, she's willing to do anything to make her partner satisfy in their relationship. She'll never think about herself, all she knows is she wanted the guy always with her until her partner can't even has a life. Then he'll get bored and bla bla bla argumentative stupidity of them revealed by themselves. Juvenile crying under the blanket, both are ego and who's going to pursue whom? The ignorance a week to two weeks, suddenly got a text. "I miss you."
What a pain brothers and sisters, actually guys I mean girls wake up! We are strong, we can do anything without em, em can't do everything without us. They take us for granted treated us like slaves, it's like he can do anything that he likes on us. No!
Why can't finish this meh?
Walaikumusalam.
Half nukilan #2
Asalamualaikum.
"What's her name baby?" "We'll call her Precious." "Precious we've been waiting for you for a long time finally you're here with us. Look baby she has your face so if I miss you I'll look at her every time when I miss you baby." Precious has grown up as a teenager now. She looks just like Faith. Oh Faith how I wish you're here with us so we can watch her growing up together. Unfortunately it was all my fault baby I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you sad like I always did before we married. I just broke my promises and you left us immediately if I know that thing will happen. God sake I'm not gonna make you sad anymore baby. Seriously I'm sorry
"What's her name baby?" "We'll call her Precious." "Precious we've been waiting for you for a long time finally you're here with us. Look baby she has your face so if I miss you I'll look at her every time when I miss you baby." Precious has grown up as a teenager now. She looks just like Faith. Oh Faith how I wish you're here with us so we can watch her growing up together. Unfortunately it was all my fault baby I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you sad like I always did before we married. I just broke my promises and you left us immediately if I know that thing will happen. God sake I'm not gonna make you sad anymore baby. Seriously I'm sorry
Another one I can't finish this yet, what a jerk.
Walaikumusalam.
Half nukilan #1
Asalamualaikum.
"Sometimes i dont feel like to write something but when my fingers have to tap on so my mood just turn on by it self. today am going to talk about mom. mom youre to special to describe. you always thought that youre the baddest mom in this world. im sorry mom its our fault who made you felt like this.not us but just me. im worst than you mom you have to know that. i know youre missing nanny and all her speech that she used to give to you when youre an innocent girl. now youre old mom old and intelligent and awesome. my friends said youre not awesome at all but for me youre awesome mom because youre different. i have a different.. "
Help me to finish this. Hahah!
Walaikumusalam.
"Sometimes i dont feel like to write something but when my fingers have to tap on so my mood just turn on by it self. today am going to talk about mom. mom youre to special to describe. you always thought that youre the baddest mom in this world. im sorry mom its our fault who made you felt like this.not us but just me. im worst than you mom you have to know that. i know youre missing nanny and all her speech that she used to give to you when youre an innocent girl. now youre old mom old and intelligent and awesome. my friends said youre not awesome at all but for me youre awesome mom because youre different. i have a different.. "
Help me to finish this. Hahah!
Walaikumusalam.
What a world!
Asalamualaikum.
Seriously today is a very hectic day, I woke up early than usual of course that was some of the hardest thing that I have to do in my life. Usual during semester breaks of course I'll wake up on hmm before lunch maybe on 11. Yea of course I watched movie last night, just a movie after a movie to another movie. So three movies in one night last night. Hohoh, so very lucky meh to watch movies alone on my bed, laying down and munching some snacks, this is life. But! Today was a hell this morning. After I woke up, performed subuh prayer and then I worked out, arms legs butts and abs. A bit tired, and then I was about to shower, tengok jam its already 9 am. I've got to meet them on 10 am. So what else can I do, rushing ah babe dengan I don't know the specific time of the buses in Putrajaya will arrive. All done with the dress code and everything, 9.30 am, should I go out now or nah?
"I'm sorry I'm on my leave today." Okay sister you did that to me, this is my time to payback what you've done to me on last Monday. And then I went out to bus stand on 10. The heck Ipah the heck you've done to your self. Because of revenge I did it! Yeah! Proudly I did it mam!
My phone rang. Unknown number, "Hello?" "Hello miss where are you right now?" "Who's this?" "I'm one of Aeon's stuffs can I see you right now?" Nigger damn, I'm still waiting for the bus, I shocked and my highest nervous level came and I felt like to collapse but I controlled it and said "Could you please wait for a moment I"m still waiting for the bus." Then guess what she wanted me to call her when I'm there. Nigger what? Seriously I don't have prepaid and my mobile data had expired. Damn! Damn! I doomed in this situation. I asked my auntie for prepaid but no because her tab running out of batteries, my sister no the car out of batteries pulak. What a life nigger.
Pehh panjang cite. Okay end of the story, I dapat kerja and then the hostel that they provided so like hotel lor macam nak stay sana but I can't because no coway there so the water that I'll drink there not as the same as at home. I love this house I mean home, so comfortable with my blanket unifi and the room so nice. I'm a very happy child. Child? Okay teenager. Teenager? Really? Okay woman! Get it a woman. I'm a woman?! Nah, not that very woman, an old woman who doesn't know how to make up and dress up like a woman.
Fantastic old woman. Wow. loved it really.
Moral of the story younger sisters and eldest sisters, no revenge okay or else God will payback, everything that had done in our life semuanya ada hikmah and moral sebaliknya. Okay? Get it niggers!
Wanna watch movies again. Chiaw!
Wanna eat cake,
God so sedap meh. SEDAPNYA!
Wanna eat this with my lovely man, Khaidid. Really? Yeah really. Don't wanna eat with anyone else just with him. Really? Yeah really!!
Walaikumusalam.
Seriously today is a very hectic day, I woke up early than usual of course that was some of the hardest thing that I have to do in my life. Usual during semester breaks of course I'll wake up on hmm before lunch maybe on 11. Yea of course I watched movie last night, just a movie after a movie to another movie. So three movies in one night last night. Hohoh, so very lucky meh to watch movies alone on my bed, laying down and munching some snacks, this is life. But! Today was a hell this morning. After I woke up, performed subuh prayer and then I worked out, arms legs butts and abs. A bit tired, and then I was about to shower, tengok jam its already 9 am. I've got to meet them on 10 am. So what else can I do, rushing ah babe dengan I don't know the specific time of the buses in Putrajaya will arrive. All done with the dress code and everything, 9.30 am, should I go out now or nah?
"I'm sorry I'm on my leave today." Okay sister you did that to me, this is my time to payback what you've done to me on last Monday. And then I went out to bus stand on 10. The heck Ipah the heck you've done to your self. Because of revenge I did it! Yeah! Proudly I did it mam!
My phone rang. Unknown number, "Hello?" "Hello miss where are you right now?" "Who's this?" "I'm one of Aeon's stuffs can I see you right now?" Nigger damn, I'm still waiting for the bus, I shocked and my highest nervous level came and I felt like to collapse but I controlled it and said "Could you please wait for a moment I"m still waiting for the bus." Then guess what she wanted me to call her when I'm there. Nigger what? Seriously I don't have prepaid and my mobile data had expired. Damn! Damn! I doomed in this situation. I asked my auntie for prepaid but no because her tab running out of batteries, my sister no the car out of batteries pulak. What a life nigger.
Pehh panjang cite. Okay end of the story, I dapat kerja and then the hostel that they provided so like hotel lor macam nak stay sana but I can't because no coway there so the water that I'll drink there not as the same as at home. I love this house I mean home, so comfortable with my blanket unifi and the room so nice. I'm a very happy child. Child? Okay teenager. Teenager? Really? Okay woman! Get it a woman. I'm a woman?! Nah, not that very woman, an old woman who doesn't know how to make up and dress up like a woman.
Fantastic old woman. Wow. loved it really.
Moral of the story younger sisters and eldest sisters, no revenge okay or else God will payback, everything that had done in our life semuanya ada hikmah and moral sebaliknya. Okay? Get it niggers!
Wanna watch movies again. Chiaw!
Wanna eat cake,
Indulgence chocolate cake baby
God so sedap meh. SEDAPNYA!
Wanna eat this with my lovely man, Khaidid. Really? Yeah really. Don't wanna eat with anyone else just with him. Really? Yeah really!!
Walaikumusalam.
A 'bit' fact a 'bit' weird
Asalamualaikum.
Well feeling a bit nervous for tomorrow, my very first time job not teaching. But not as nervous as the last time TESL's interview. Worst moment ever, I don't want to remember it anymore. Now I know if I write I can't be disturb by anything especially music. Unless if I try to make a poem, yeah just poem others "DO NOT DISTURB" because when I write something serious like this, guess not that so serious, okay la a bit serious, I've got to think and recall all the vocab that lost in my mind. Sounds easy for you but hard for me, that's what I always do when I write, think and recall everything back. Everything means the vocab that I forget la. Why so hard to use English standard? *Patting my head.
Suddenly, I feel hungry. Got to eat something even though I just ate a plate of mee goreng just now. Ho to fast if I can't control my diet like past? Back then, I just ate a plate of rice a day, but now a plate of rice not enough bruh at least two plates a day. How can this be my Lord? Where's my usual healthy diet? How to be fit if I can't resist all the food come across me now! Wanna have that stomach so badly, that legs, that arms. My God help me Lord, all the food killing me softly bit by bit. Okay I always use "bit" word, know why? Because it sounds cute with the B then I to T. Simple word can make me happy. Irrational but do you know Olaf? Yeah that snow man guy with that dream to be in summer, he said he'll be "A HAPPY SNOWMAN" out of his mind. Dude you'll be melts la. Eh wait, sounds like not relate able at all. Actually what am I trying to say here is, if we love something we don't care what will people say as long as things that we like can make us feel happy. Okay hope you get what I'm trying to tell ya.
Okay stop talking about "bit" no need to argue about it. Crazy.
Let's talk about what I've done and went to last week. Oh this is so fun, I went to... Guess where did I go last week, heheh this is fun and crazy because I'm talking with my blog. Whatever, hurry up! Guess!
I took so many photos but I've deleted all of it because I hate to see my face in photos, I looked like an hideous beasts so I've made a decision to delete all of it. Clever me yes I'm smart in running away from looking hideous by deleting all the pictures even though my niece and her friends still keep our photos in their phone. What a mess, but it's okay.
So here's some photos from bruh google,
Okay just one photo, I'm tired to copy and paste other photos.
I'm so tired and need to sleep because tomorrow is my first day to work. What a job, I sounded nerd actually I'm nerd. Hahah.
Like this,
Well feeling a bit nervous for tomorrow, my very first time job not teaching. But not as nervous as the last time TESL's interview. Worst moment ever, I don't want to remember it anymore. Now I know if I write I can't be disturb by anything especially music. Unless if I try to make a poem, yeah just poem others "DO NOT DISTURB" because when I write something serious like this, guess not that so serious, okay la a bit serious, I've got to think and recall all the vocab that lost in my mind. Sounds easy for you but hard for me, that's what I always do when I write, think and recall everything back. Everything means the vocab that I forget la. Why so hard to use English standard? *Patting my head.
Suddenly, I feel hungry. Got to eat something even though I just ate a plate of mee goreng just now. Ho to fast if I can't control my diet like past? Back then, I just ate a plate of rice a day, but now a plate of rice not enough bruh at least two plates a day. How can this be my Lord? Where's my usual healthy diet? How to be fit if I can't resist all the food come across me now! Wanna have that stomach so badly, that legs, that arms. My God help me Lord, all the food killing me softly bit by bit. Okay I always use "bit" word, know why? Because it sounds cute with the B then I to T. Simple word can make me happy. Irrational but do you know Olaf? Yeah that snow man guy with that dream to be in summer, he said he'll be "A HAPPY SNOWMAN" out of his mind. Dude you'll be melts la. Eh wait, sounds like not relate able at all. Actually what am I trying to say here is, if we love something we don't care what will people say as long as things that we like can make us feel happy. Okay hope you get what I'm trying to tell ya.
Okay stop talking about "bit" no need to argue about it. Crazy.
Let's talk about what I've done and went to last week. Oh this is so fun, I went to... Guess where did I go last week, heheh this is fun and crazy because I'm talking with my blog. Whatever, hurry up! Guess!
Jyeahh welcome to FLORIA FESTIVAL in PUTRAJAYA 2014. But the event is already ended la. To people who don't go there sangat la rugi but not as rugi as tinggal solat. Leaving or forgetting to perform your prayers more rugi.
I took so many photos but I've deleted all of it because I hate to see my face in photos, I looked like an hideous beasts so I've made a decision to delete all of it. Clever me yes I'm smart in running away from looking hideous by deleting all the pictures even though my niece and her friends still keep our photos in their phone. What a mess, but it's okay.
So here's some photos from bruh google,
Okay just one photo, I'm tired to copy and paste other photos.
I'm so tired and need to sleep because tomorrow is my first day to work. What a job, I sounded nerd actually I'm nerd. Hahah.
Like this,
Okay a beautiful nerd like Anne Hathaway, but I'm not that pretty tho.
Maybe with a bit eye liner, a bit foundation, a bit of lipstick smooch and blusher. I'll look fantastic BABY!
Okay merapu nasty nigger.
Nenight sudah ngantuk.
I ate another two plates of mee goreng *PEACE YAW
Wasalamualaikum.
20 June 2014
Laziness is killing me!
Asalamualaikum
Dude, seriously so lazy to update my blog. It's been a long time ago I wrote something on this blog. Plus I'm trying to change the email of this blog from cik_tam to my new email zakariaarifah. Unfortunately I can't change it like it said "Can't use google mail on google mail". Hoo well sounds weird okay, dia cakap takleh guna gmail on gmail. Still don't get it? Same goes here still don't get it too. Apa tahh it trying to tell me, worse.
And let's talk about FIFA World cup, I'm glad that my man one of the men who watch football at home alone, sounds pity but yeah so glad to have him at home. You know it's too dangerous for him to go outside at night driving alone balik from lepak with his friends, I'm scared that some of pontianak would fall in love to him. Ghosts not human okay, sorry babe. Back then, before we're together he always hanged out with his friends till morning and that made me feel a bit angry but sabo je lah because who am I to stop him from that.
One day, I told him nicely that if he always sleep late or doesn't sleep at all at night, that will cause bad oh his body especially on his muscles. Fairy god mother he stopped doing that, jyeahhhhhhh I'm such a sweet talker. So glad so glad! Then last week I asked him, "Kenapa tak tengok dengan kawan?" "Takleh la nanti makcik itik marah lepak sampe pagi." Then he laughed, at first I didn't get it. Whuut? Makcik itik? "Ohh! Saya itik yea?" Then we both laughed.
One of funniest football season joke that I've read 2014.
And btw, cantik tak jeans kita ni? Nak beli lah dah takdak seluar dah. If top I can wear everything, bra je pun tak kisah. Bahahah, singlet ke. Bajet mat salles sangat.
Dude, seriously so lazy to update my blog. It's been a long time ago I wrote something on this blog. Plus I'm trying to change the email of this blog from cik_tam to my new email zakariaarifah. Unfortunately I can't change it like it said "Can't use google mail on google mail". Hoo well sounds weird okay, dia cakap takleh guna gmail on gmail. Still don't get it? Same goes here still don't get it too. Apa tahh it trying to tell me, worse.
And let's talk about FIFA World cup, I'm glad that my man one of the men who watch football at home alone, sounds pity but yeah so glad to have him at home. You know it's too dangerous for him to go outside at night driving alone balik from lepak with his friends, I'm scared that some of pontianak would fall in love to him. Ghosts not human okay, sorry babe. Back then, before we're together he always hanged out with his friends till morning and that made me feel a bit angry but sabo je lah because who am I to stop him from that.
One day, I told him nicely that if he always sleep late or doesn't sleep at all at night, that will cause bad oh his body especially on his muscles. Fairy god mother he stopped doing that, jyeahhhhhhh I'm such a sweet talker. So glad so glad! Then last week I asked him, "Kenapa tak tengok dengan kawan?" "Takleh la nanti makcik itik marah lepak sampe pagi." Then he laughed, at first I didn't get it. Whuut? Makcik itik? "Ohh! Saya itik yea?" Then we both laughed.
One of funniest football season joke that I've read 2014.
And btw, cantik tak jeans kita ni? Nak beli lah dah takdak seluar dah. If top I can wear everything, bra je pun tak kisah. Bahahah, singlet ke. Bajet mat salles sangat.
NAK BELI PENGSAN LA TENGOK JE HARI HARI YANG NI WUUU WUUU!
Walaikumusalam.
09 April 2014
The Romance of the Sun and the Moon
The moon was alone one evening, shining in the midnight sky. Although she was surrounded by myriads of tiny, sparkly stars, she felt as if there was no one to understand her. She eagerly searched the skies for a friend, perhaps a meteor, with whom to discuss the joys and sorrows of her life. But there was nobody.
On the other side of the world, the sun yawned and awoke to shine his light upon the blue-green temples of God. He heard the call to worship, and saw the waves of people bowing and praying. He felt full of good will and charity towards the masses of God's servitors. Perhaps they were not holy, but at least they were faithful.
The moon stayed alone, suspended in the sky with none to touch her. A tiny star whispered to her of a great being, the sun, who brought joy and light to the world. She listened with interest, for it seemed that once, a long time ago, she had seen a being such as this. Beautiful as he was, the sun seemed always just beyond her reach. She would visit the places where he had been, and would always find that he had just left. Those who knew him spoke of his wonder and his glory, and she felt unworthy to be in his presence.
Now the sun was unaware of her yearning, for he was too busy making the crops grow and warming the world. Those who wished his light had only to look upward to heaven and he was there, beaming down upon them.
The moon continued to follow the sun, always coming nearer to him, always hearing that he had just left that portion of the sky, or was just over the next mountain range. Where before there was despair, now she was ever more hopeful, for she knew that she was approaching his presence.
She came closer and closer, until one glorious day came when she stood before him, naked and unafraid. The world looked up and saw only blackness - in the middle of the day. But the moon stood mid-way between the sun and the earth, and all of his glory was for her.
His light blotted out all of her loneliness, all of her pain, all of her past. She stood bathed in wonder before him, and his light filled her soul.
She passed away from him full of light and joy, and though his light was too bright to remember, it was also too powerful to forget. She was dizzy with wonder. As time passed, it seemed that she once had been a being full of light, yet it was so long ago…
Such is the soul of man, dear one. It yearns for the glorious light of Truth, which destroys all loneliness and memory. The many lives of man are as many times as the moon sees the sun - after each, nothing remains but a vague idea of a beauty once seen. And there is always the longing, and always the return.
On the other side of the world, the sun yawned and awoke to shine his light upon the blue-green temples of God. He heard the call to worship, and saw the waves of people bowing and praying. He felt full of good will and charity towards the masses of God's servitors. Perhaps they were not holy, but at least they were faithful.
The moon stayed alone, suspended in the sky with none to touch her. A tiny star whispered to her of a great being, the sun, who brought joy and light to the world. She listened with interest, for it seemed that once, a long time ago, she had seen a being such as this. Beautiful as he was, the sun seemed always just beyond her reach. She would visit the places where he had been, and would always find that he had just left. Those who knew him spoke of his wonder and his glory, and she felt unworthy to be in his presence.
Now the sun was unaware of her yearning, for he was too busy making the crops grow and warming the world. Those who wished his light had only to look upward to heaven and he was there, beaming down upon them.
The moon continued to follow the sun, always coming nearer to him, always hearing that he had just left that portion of the sky, or was just over the next mountain range. Where before there was despair, now she was ever more hopeful, for she knew that she was approaching his presence.
She came closer and closer, until one glorious day came when she stood before him, naked and unafraid. The world looked up and saw only blackness - in the middle of the day. But the moon stood mid-way between the sun and the earth, and all of his glory was for her.
His light blotted out all of her loneliness, all of her pain, all of her past. She stood bathed in wonder before him, and his light filled her soul.
She passed away from him full of light and joy, and though his light was too bright to remember, it was also too powerful to forget. She was dizzy with wonder. As time passed, it seemed that she once had been a being full of light, yet it was so long ago…
Such is the soul of man, dear one. It yearns for the glorious light of Truth, which destroys all loneliness and memory. The many lives of man are as many times as the moon sees the sun - after each, nothing remains but a vague idea of a beauty once seen. And there is always the longing, and always the return.
31 March 2014
Make up some stories
Asalamualaikum.
Well hello dear blog. I don't care who's going to read you as long as I can write what I want here because right now and then I don't have people to talk to so I'm a lonely girl. So I'll write, actually I hate to talk about my problems right now because the problems that I won't mention are just a tiny little problems that I can handle actually. Small problems I make it bigger, ho well women aren't me? Oh any how any way, I love to make up some stories especially before I go to bed. Yeah, what a nasty mind aren't I?
What kind of stories? It depends my dear, look what I've been through all day. For example, today I ate a lot and I had an argue with someone. Well so I'll make up a story before I fall to sleep. This is how it started,
One day there's a little girl living in a cabin with her mother who is very old. She keeps on wondering why her mother is too old til she has to finish all the house chores, she always wanted to enjoy her life as a small lass by playing with dolls and running around the house with her friends. Sadly, every time her friends calling her to go out and play, she'll be like "I'm sorry I can't live my house because my mummy is sick and no one is going to take care of all the house chores." The friends leaving her behind and continuing playing while that poor little girl continuing doing the house chores that will never finish.
Then she cries, her mummy sees her crying while washing dishes that they just ate this morning. The mummy runs to her and hugs her, "Do not cry my baby, I am sorry for always being sick all the time, I promise tomorrow I will be fine and you do not have to take care of me anymore." She pushes her mummy, "You lied to me! Like you always did before, you always said that you will be fine, I am waiting for that moment, the day I can play around with other kids." She runs to her room and slams the door like she always did before. Poor her mummy, the mummy is crying sadly sum up with guilty.
After a few minutes, the little girl gets out from her room crying out loud and hugs her mummy, "Mummy, I am sorry for being rude all the time, I did not mean to hurt your feeling but sometimes my heart is pounding want to go out with other kids but I remained silent because I know I can not leave you alone in here, who is going to cook, to wash, to bath and to love you now. Daddy left us because you are always sick, I can not as cruel as daddy because you are the one who had gave birth to me. I love you mummy, I love you more than daddy loved you before." They both cry, "My baby, you are a good girl, some times I know you are too worried about me, I am okay, you can go out and play with them, I will always be fine here. Just go and have fun, do not worry about me anymore."
"Promise me you will be fine mummy til I get back again?"
"Yes my baby, I promise."
Her mummy kisses her forehead and both of her cheeks. "Just go my dear, have fun out there with other kids. I will be fine here." She runs out happily from the house, while her mummy goes to bed to get some rest.
"What a pain, my head spinning." Look at the clock, it's almost evening. Where did she goes with the friends. Her mummy trying to get up by her self with the dizziness that she feels inside her head. She walks by her self to the kitchen, usually her baby would take her there to fill up her stomach with something. With the dizziness and tiredness that she feels right now makes both of her feet unstable and a bit shuffle til she goes near the sink to grab a cup and a spoon to make a coffee. The floor is wet because of the dishes had been washed by her baby and she forgot to mop the floor. Suddenly, she slips and fall on the floor. Her head bang on the floor and bleeds a bit, she can not open her eyes, a whole of her body can not move. She tries to scream but her throat in pain but her mouth is moving calling her baby. She loses her voice and, "This is it, goodbye my baby, I love you."
"See you later guys, bye!" It's almost dusk, she forgets that her mummy is waiting for her at home. On her way to go home, she walks happily and certainly forgets about her mummy. "There goes my house, why mummy does not turn on the lights. Maybe she falls asleep."
"I am home! -turns on the lights, goes to her mummy's room- Mummy? Where are you?" She goes to the kitchen and turn on the light. She shocks and recklessly grabs her mummy while crying, "Mummy! Mummy! Wake up! I am sorry for leaving you! I am a bad girl. I am sorry! I am sorry for not taking a good care of you Mummy. Please! Wake up!" She hugs her Mummy and kisses both of her mummy's cheeks.
She gets up and walk away from her mummy, "My head." She hears her mummy's voice and looks back, her mummy struggling to get up. She grabs her mummy's head and hugs her to her chest. "Mummy! I am sorry! Thank God you are fine, I thought you are dead that is why I get up and walk away to go out to get some help from others. Thank God you are okay!." "My baby, did I lie to you?" "No no, you are not if you want to lie all the time next time I do not mind at all as long as you are still with me you can lie as many as you want. I love you mummy." "I love you too my baby."
They both hug each other. Then the girls spend the rest of her life taking care of her mummy till her mummy died. Still she takes a good care o f the house, married and have children with her lovely husband that is better than her daddy. A man who is willing to spend time with her and children, who knows the responsibilities on his family. Now, she teaches her children how to do the house chores no matter either they are boys or girls.
We have to teach our children how to do the house chores since they're young so they'll be independent when they grow up. Like me, my mom taught me how to take care of the house chores since was in standard three, now I can do everything without asking any helps from others. That's the ending of my making up a story. The tittle would be "One day." because one day the girl gets out from the house and one day she trusts her mummy that her mummy will be fine for a day. One day.
Walaikumusalam
Well hello dear blog. I don't care who's going to read you as long as I can write what I want here because right now and then I don't have people to talk to so I'm a lonely girl. So I'll write, actually I hate to talk about my problems right now because the problems that I won't mention are just a tiny little problems that I can handle actually. Small problems I make it bigger, ho well women aren't me? Oh any how any way, I love to make up some stories especially before I go to bed. Yeah, what a nasty mind aren't I?
What kind of stories? It depends my dear, look what I've been through all day. For example, today I ate a lot and I had an argue with someone. Well so I'll make up a story before I fall to sleep. This is how it started,
One day there's a little girl living in a cabin with her mother who is very old. She keeps on wondering why her mother is too old til she has to finish all the house chores, she always wanted to enjoy her life as a small lass by playing with dolls and running around the house with her friends. Sadly, every time her friends calling her to go out and play, she'll be like "I'm sorry I can't live my house because my mummy is sick and no one is going to take care of all the house chores." The friends leaving her behind and continuing playing while that poor little girl continuing doing the house chores that will never finish.
Then she cries, her mummy sees her crying while washing dishes that they just ate this morning. The mummy runs to her and hugs her, "Do not cry my baby, I am sorry for always being sick all the time, I promise tomorrow I will be fine and you do not have to take care of me anymore." She pushes her mummy, "You lied to me! Like you always did before, you always said that you will be fine, I am waiting for that moment, the day I can play around with other kids." She runs to her room and slams the door like she always did before. Poor her mummy, the mummy is crying sadly sum up with guilty.
After a few minutes, the little girl gets out from her room crying out loud and hugs her mummy, "Mummy, I am sorry for being rude all the time, I did not mean to hurt your feeling but sometimes my heart is pounding want to go out with other kids but I remained silent because I know I can not leave you alone in here, who is going to cook, to wash, to bath and to love you now. Daddy left us because you are always sick, I can not as cruel as daddy because you are the one who had gave birth to me. I love you mummy, I love you more than daddy loved you before." They both cry, "My baby, you are a good girl, some times I know you are too worried about me, I am okay, you can go out and play with them, I will always be fine here. Just go and have fun, do not worry about me anymore."
"Promise me you will be fine mummy til I get back again?"
"Yes my baby, I promise."
Her mummy kisses her forehead and both of her cheeks. "Just go my dear, have fun out there with other kids. I will be fine here." She runs out happily from the house, while her mummy goes to bed to get some rest.
"What a pain, my head spinning." Look at the clock, it's almost evening. Where did she goes with the friends. Her mummy trying to get up by her self with the dizziness that she feels inside her head. She walks by her self to the kitchen, usually her baby would take her there to fill up her stomach with something. With the dizziness and tiredness that she feels right now makes both of her feet unstable and a bit shuffle til she goes near the sink to grab a cup and a spoon to make a coffee. The floor is wet because of the dishes had been washed by her baby and she forgot to mop the floor. Suddenly, she slips and fall on the floor. Her head bang on the floor and bleeds a bit, she can not open her eyes, a whole of her body can not move. She tries to scream but her throat in pain but her mouth is moving calling her baby. She loses her voice and, "This is it, goodbye my baby, I love you."
"See you later guys, bye!" It's almost dusk, she forgets that her mummy is waiting for her at home. On her way to go home, she walks happily and certainly forgets about her mummy. "There goes my house, why mummy does not turn on the lights. Maybe she falls asleep."
"I am home! -turns on the lights, goes to her mummy's room- Mummy? Where are you?" She goes to the kitchen and turn on the light. She shocks and recklessly grabs her mummy while crying, "Mummy! Mummy! Wake up! I am sorry for leaving you! I am a bad girl. I am sorry! I am sorry for not taking a good care of you Mummy. Please! Wake up!" She hugs her Mummy and kisses both of her mummy's cheeks.
She gets up and walk away from her mummy, "My head." She hears her mummy's voice and looks back, her mummy struggling to get up. She grabs her mummy's head and hugs her to her chest. "Mummy! I am sorry! Thank God you are fine, I thought you are dead that is why I get up and walk away to go out to get some help from others. Thank God you are okay!." "My baby, did I lie to you?" "No no, you are not if you want to lie all the time next time I do not mind at all as long as you are still with me you can lie as many as you want. I love you mummy." "I love you too my baby."
They both hug each other. Then the girls spend the rest of her life taking care of her mummy till her mummy died. Still she takes a good care o f the house, married and have children with her lovely husband that is better than her daddy. A man who is willing to spend time with her and children, who knows the responsibilities on his family. Now, she teaches her children how to do the house chores no matter either they are boys or girls.
We have to teach our children how to do the house chores since they're young so they'll be independent when they grow up. Like me, my mom taught me how to take care of the house chores since was in standard three, now I can do everything without asking any helps from others. That's the ending of my making up a story. The tittle would be "One day." because one day the girl gets out from the house and one day she trusts her mummy that her mummy will be fine for a day. One day.
Walaikumusalam
Written
Asalamualaikum
Its been a long time I didn't write some poem? Well I don't know either this is some kind of poem or not but I considered it as poems.
The knight
Let the past haunts me
Sins that I have done
Sins that I have made
Let the knight pulls me
Grant me the wishes
Grant me the granted
That I am longing for a long time ago
Being your one and only damsel
In your life
Cruel
Thou are wasting time
on something that is not worth
to waste and to wait
Remember
this world is a dime
on something that is not worth
to play and to aid
That's all for today, thank you.
Walaikumusalam
Its been a long time I didn't write some poem? Well I don't know either this is some kind of poem or not but I considered it as poems.
The knight
Let the past haunts me
Sins that I have done
Sins that I have made
Let the knight pulls me
Grant me the wishes
Grant me the granted
That I am longing for a long time ago
Being your one and only damsel
In your life
Cruel
Thou are wasting time
on something that is not worth
to waste and to wait
Remember
this world is a dime
on something that is not worth
to play and to aid
That's all for today, thank you.
Walaikumusalam
The selfishness of me
Asalamaualaikum
Yes, I am.
Why did you say so me?
Because I always think about my self.
What is it me? Tell me.
It is all about me, I do not know how to respect him.
I am respecting him. Are not I?
I am but sometimes I did not notice that, a small thing that I have done actually causing uncomfortable zone towards him.
Oh I see, so what now?
Here, listen to my story, right now he is mad at me, well actually he is not mad he just needs some time to be alone because I keep on ceggih.
Yeah yeah, I notice about that me.
Me too, but because of the pampering moment last two days had made me comfort with my throne until I forgot that he hates to see me ceggih and maybe he notices that one moment I will be excessively ceggih and suddenly will cause him trouble.
So this is a lesson that he tried to teach me, is not he?
Yes yes, right now I think and think a lot, some times I feel like he does not love me because he can ignore me like he does right now, but when I think and think again, no! He loves me because we talked a lot about future and the way he treated me before, how he taught me about anything, he wants me to be more matured like he said before who is going to take care of house if I keep on ceggih, I must be alert on everything that is important, if it is not important at all just ignore it, so I will be like damn he loves me so much.
Are you sure me?
Yes I am sure! Exactly! He keeps my childhood photo and he keeps on saying that I looked cute with that smile even though everyone hated my smile when I was that kid, he accompanies me to pet shop, willing to drive and brought me home, he always said that I am beautiful, he is patience, trying to understand me, care me a lot but some times he does not and I know it is because he is tired with his assignments, and that showed more than a thing that he loves me a lot.
Well I see, then?
Then some times I always think about my self, yes if you notice I always think about him well actually I think about my self more than him, I will do anything for him to make him always be by my side but you know he is always busy with the assignments, and I keep on bothering him without feeling guilty, I feel the guilt but hmm yeah, I am trying to control it, I mean bugging him but only God knows how hard to control it.
What is the causing of this argument?
Well it is my fault who do not know how to mind my words but that time I was so angry because of some one took a box of water that I am selling on the 9th floor without paying it, I left it not more than half an hour, I am so sad, depressed, frustrated, and angry, then I text him "swine", i did not mean it to him, but he just bye and does not want to talk to me anymore. We just talked about this in our last conversation, "To become a wife and a mother you must to take care from above to the bottom of yours everything, avoid being childish and ceggih". Yeah it is true, I learnt from this lessons, I am sorry, I will not use any harsh words anymore with every one.
Who is fault right now?
Me.
Well me, so what am I going to do now?
This is what am I doing right now, explanation, this is the explanation that I hope he will understand that iI am sorry for using harsh words, no more harsh words after this, I am so sorry, I know you hate to hear harsh words that get out from my mouth, I was so mad that time, I will be more patience after this, I know you are tired of driving around searching for these stuffs to sell, you are putting so much efforts on this but you can be more patience than me, so why cant I be patience to get through this? I know I can! So I am so sorry.
So the lessons learnt, I know it is my fault, so I think he will consider it.
Walaikumusalam
05 March 2014
04 March 2014
Should I wait?
Asalamualaikum.
This is saddening, someone that we love hate us. Disastrous, that feeling is killing me a bit by bit. It's like I can't take this no more but I know he hates to see me weak, he wants me to stay strong. I'm strong, I can push ups crunches and jogs in one time. Haha, crazy Ipah is crazy actually. I don't know what should I do now. I'm sad but I just have to wait until he wants to reach me back. I'm scared that one day he'll leave me like I don't want you anymore just go. Where should I go sunshine? No more sun, well the moon won't be brighten the night anymore.
Talking about the moon, I always look at the moon and wondering does he misses me like I miss him? Doesn't he feels what I feel inside right now? When will you reach me again? Are you waiting for my call? Text? I don't know I just confuzzled right now. I wanted to text you or call you but I guess I'll be disturbing you like you'll hate me again and again, seriously do you hate me? I want to know just don't leave me hanging because we're already engaged. I'm yours and you're mine, we both felt the same I guess, always guessing can make your heart pounding and THIS IS KILLING ME. Aren't this kind of things killing you honey? I hope you miss me like I miss you, how I wish I can see you missing me right now. But like you care, maybe you aren't missing me. Poor Ipah, poor him, poor our life. Safiyah, I don't know either your abah is still with me or not. I don't know either we can still have you in the future or not.
And I don't even know either I'm still in your abah's heart or not. If your abah can't love me anymore, it's okay I'll wait for him until he's ready and come and get me. I can't move on so I'll just wait, I don't care how many bad things you've done to me and I also used to do bad things on you, don't worry I'll be sticking on you forever. I don't want anyone else, I want you only you honey. You always said that I'm crazy, yes I'm crazy on you and I don't care what will people say about me, all I know is you're and you'll always be my sexy chocolate muffin man honey. I'm sorry for everything that I've done, and I haven't occurred yet honey.
WITHOUT THE SUN THE MOON WON'T BRIGHT. If I'm the moon so you'll be the sun that can shine my day. XOXO
(YES I SHOULD WAIT!)
Wasalamualaikum.
This is saddening, someone that we love hate us. Disastrous, that feeling is killing me a bit by bit. It's like I can't take this no more but I know he hates to see me weak, he wants me to stay strong. I'm strong, I can push ups crunches and jogs in one time. Haha, crazy Ipah is crazy actually. I don't know what should I do now. I'm sad but I just have to wait until he wants to reach me back. I'm scared that one day he'll leave me like I don't want you anymore just go. Where should I go sunshine? No more sun, well the moon won't be brighten the night anymore.
Talking about the moon, I always look at the moon and wondering does he misses me like I miss him? Doesn't he feels what I feel inside right now? When will you reach me again? Are you waiting for my call? Text? I don't know I just confuzzled right now. I wanted to text you or call you but I guess I'll be disturbing you like you'll hate me again and again, seriously do you hate me? I want to know just don't leave me hanging because we're already engaged. I'm yours and you're mine, we both felt the same I guess, always guessing can make your heart pounding and THIS IS KILLING ME. Aren't this kind of things killing you honey? I hope you miss me like I miss you, how I wish I can see you missing me right now. But like you care, maybe you aren't missing me. Poor Ipah, poor him, poor our life. Safiyah, I don't know either your abah is still with me or not. I don't know either we can still have you in the future or not.
And I don't even know either I'm still in your abah's heart or not. If your abah can't love me anymore, it's okay I'll wait for him until he's ready and come and get me. I can't move on so I'll just wait, I don't care how many bad things you've done to me and I also used to do bad things on you, don't worry I'll be sticking on you forever. I don't want anyone else, I want you only you honey. You always said that I'm crazy, yes I'm crazy on you and I don't care what will people say about me, all I know is you're and you'll always be my sexy chocolate muffin man honey. I'm sorry for everything that I've done, and I haven't occurred yet honey.
WITHOUT THE SUN THE MOON WON'T BRIGHT. If I'm the moon so you'll be the sun that can shine my day. XOXO
(YES I SHOULD WAIT!)
Wasalamualaikum.
26 February 2014
Alhamdulillah
Asalamualaikum.
Well Alhamdulillah both of them are now in a good condition. They're getting better than before. Actually they just need to drink more water to prevent them selves from being affected by those diseases. Poor Mom and him, I love both of Them I can't lose both of them in my life.
And after one by one problem I've settled it out. Mid term paper last night, done. No worry about them, done. For today, here comes another problem. What a troutble maker people around me even far away from me also brings trouble on me. Actually it's my fault, Arifah please accept and admit that you're a stubborn head person. My heart is hard as hard as stone, even you beat it using hammer it won't break, that's my brother said to me. Yes, I'm so stubborn unless someone's threatening me to kill me or something that can affect my life. Arifah is carzy, crazy is Arifah. Tired of being me, when can I change my self from bad to a good girl. Oh daddy how I wish you're still with us. I don't know to whom can I talk to, He's in a condition to get better, mom also not feeling well but getting better.
Poor me, poor my self for being such a kid who doesn't know how to handle her own problems. I'm a big girl why can't I think like a big lady. I should get rid of using big, so I'm like a girl but I want to be a lady so many people will respect me because I'm an adult. I'm tired of being a girl that no one trusts. I want to sleep and don't want to wake up anymore. I hate my self, I can't talk to any one except you my blog. No one's reading this because no one knows about this blog. Hahaha, so chillex my dear. You're alone now lonely lonely little girl, is there any one wants to be with me raise up your butt! NOOOOOO ONE CARE ABOUT YOU MY DEAR WEIRDO GIRL!
I want to sleep, for a loooooooooooooooong time. Wake me up when July is end. I'm still thinking like a kid. Why can't I think like a woman? Am I too slow to understand this world. I want to be like him. He more matured than me, for me all I know is cry cry cry and cry. Problem won't settle by crying my dear. Find the solution and trying to figure it out to settle it all carefully and nicely.
It's like I don't want to talk to any one any more. I hate everyone. Look I'm still acting I mean having that childish thinking. I think like a baby, cry like a baby, sleep like a baby. Am I a baby? What a swine my dear. Swine swine swine. Screw everyone, screw you, and screw me. I'm tired of everything, everything that comes in my mind and in front of me like people passing in front of so I'll hate them like they used to make problems with me, damn my lady, enough all this nonsense!
Walaikumusalam.
Well Alhamdulillah both of them are now in a good condition. They're getting better than before. Actually they just need to drink more water to prevent them selves from being affected by those diseases. Poor Mom and him, I love both of Them I can't lose both of them in my life.
And after one by one problem I've settled it out. Mid term paper last night, done. No worry about them, done. For today, here comes another problem. What a troutble maker people around me even far away from me also brings trouble on me. Actually it's my fault, Arifah please accept and admit that you're a stubborn head person. My heart is hard as hard as stone, even you beat it using hammer it won't break, that's my brother said to me. Yes, I'm so stubborn unless someone's threatening me to kill me or something that can affect my life. Arifah is carzy, crazy is Arifah. Tired of being me, when can I change my self from bad to a good girl. Oh daddy how I wish you're still with us. I don't know to whom can I talk to, He's in a condition to get better, mom also not feeling well but getting better.
Poor me, poor my self for being such a kid who doesn't know how to handle her own problems. I'm a big girl why can't I think like a big lady. I should get rid of using big, so I'm like a girl but I want to be a lady so many people will respect me because I'm an adult. I'm tired of being a girl that no one trusts. I want to sleep and don't want to wake up anymore. I hate my self, I can't talk to any one except you my blog. No one's reading this because no one knows about this blog. Hahaha, so chillex my dear. You're alone now lonely lonely little girl, is there any one wants to be with me raise up your butt! NOOOOOO ONE CARE ABOUT YOU MY DEAR WEIRDO GIRL!
I want to sleep, for a loooooooooooooooong time. Wake me up when July is end. I'm still thinking like a kid. Why can't I think like a woman? Am I too slow to understand this world. I want to be like him. He more matured than me, for me all I know is cry cry cry and cry. Problem won't settle by crying my dear. Find the solution and trying to figure it out to settle it all carefully and nicely.
It's like I don't want to talk to any one any more. I hate everyone. Look I'm still acting I mean having that childish thinking. I think like a baby, cry like a baby, sleep like a baby. Am I a baby? What a swine my dear. Swine swine swine. Screw everyone, screw you, and screw me. I'm tired of everything, everything that comes in my mind and in front of me like people passing in front of so I'll hate them like they used to make problems with me, damn my lady, enough all this nonsense!
Walaikumusalam.
23 February 2014
Problem II
Asalamualaikum.
I'm here again with some fake smile that I've made after trying to pursue my self to stay strong and to be patience with whatever happened right now. Mom's sick, he's sick and I'm going to be sick of everything that can make me sick. It's not that I hate you guys, it's just that you guys are scaring me with all those sickening thingy until I keep on thinking how can I help them while all of us are far apart? I want to help especially mom. She refusing me to help her, I want to go home and to see her hug her feel her in my arms, all she wants is me to stay here, I'll stay here quietly and calmly. How about my head? It keeps on spinning around thinking of you mom. I feel weak when I hear about you. You want me to ignore you pretending like there's nothing happen towards you there? NO! Oh mother, how I wish I can take care of you right now. I love you Mek and I miss you, without you I'm nothing.
I don't want to talk about him. I just hate to see him sick, I'm weak, helpless and hopeless when I'm with him. I don't want him to know about this because I hate to see him worrying about this kind of stupid things. So I'll keep everything aside and keep on giving him spirits to stay strong and healthy. I hope you know that I love you so much, I care too much about you. Trying to understand you hoping that you'll get better day by day. XOXO I love you boy.
Walaikumusalam.
I'm here again with some fake smile that I've made after trying to pursue my self to stay strong and to be patience with whatever happened right now. Mom's sick, he's sick and I'm going to be sick of everything that can make me sick. It's not that I hate you guys, it's just that you guys are scaring me with all those sickening thingy until I keep on thinking how can I help them while all of us are far apart? I want to help especially mom. She refusing me to help her, I want to go home and to see her hug her feel her in my arms, all she wants is me to stay here, I'll stay here quietly and calmly. How about my head? It keeps on spinning around thinking of you mom. I feel weak when I hear about you. You want me to ignore you pretending like there's nothing happen towards you there? NO! Oh mother, how I wish I can take care of you right now. I love you Mek and I miss you, without you I'm nothing.
I don't want to talk about him. I just hate to see him sick, I'm weak, helpless and hopeless when I'm with him. I don't want him to know about this because I hate to see him worrying about this kind of stupid things. So I'll keep everything aside and keep on giving him spirits to stay strong and healthy. I hope you know that I love you so much, I care too much about you. Trying to understand you hoping that you'll get better day by day. XOXO I love you boy.
Walaikumusalam.
21 February 2014
Problem
Asalamualaikum.
I've got some problem maybe not some but so many problems. Trying to ignore it but it's the hardest thing to ignore something that is very big like problems like I've been through right now. It's like no one can help me except me my self. I used to tell him that I've got so many problems that can't be settle down. He asked me to settle it down one by one. I told him about the problems that I've to face right now in last few days. He said that wasn't a big problems and not so many problems. So am I the one that are problematic right now? Hoo well, I guess.
When I think and think and think again. Yeah! He was right it wasn't a big problems at all. I't just I'm the one who is over thinking about everything. Something that was small I made it big. Women. Hmm hmm. Problem's everywhere. Everything was perfect last night but today not anymore.
Two of my beloved people sick. Mom and him, I'm scared. That cautious feeling in my self after my dad left me and my uncle and the next person I don't know maybe me my self are going to be taken from this world and return to Him. About mom and him, I can bear it anymore if they leaving me. God help me to be strong because I'm not that strong but with you I'm strong. Without you I'm nothing. I'm in PJ and mom in Kelantan. We're far apart, it's not I don't want to talk or to know or to ask about her condition but I'm scared with the answers that I'll receive from one of my siblings that mom is not as strong as before. It makes me sad and weak. I hate to lose someone in my life again. Especially mom, I'm sorry mom I can't talk to you right now. I can't hear your voice right now and I can't take care of you right now.
Is this some kind of traumatize? Sad disorder? When I think about something I'll be extremely sad like I'm the saddest person in this world. Arifah is not that strong but with Allah she'll try to be strong and hide all those feelings behind the smile that is faking everyone all the time. I'm sorry, I don't talk that much laugh that much anymore. I want to laugh but I can't when I knew that both of them are sickening right now.
I only can take care of him right now. Mom I wanted to take care of you. Very much. I want to go home I want to hug you mom. I wanted to hug you like there's no tomorrow anymore. I'm sorry mom. I can't held my tears when I hear your voice. It's so saddening and tearing my heart. That soft voice is going to kill me in silence. All the advice that I've got from you mom, the best advice and opinions in this world. No one can replace your love on me Mom. I love you Mek.
Walaikumusalam.
I've got some problem maybe not some but so many problems. Trying to ignore it but it's the hardest thing to ignore something that is very big like problems like I've been through right now. It's like no one can help me except me my self. I used to tell him that I've got so many problems that can't be settle down. He asked me to settle it down one by one. I told him about the problems that I've to face right now in last few days. He said that wasn't a big problems and not so many problems. So am I the one that are problematic right now? Hoo well, I guess.
When I think and think and think again. Yeah! He was right it wasn't a big problems at all. I't just I'm the one who is over thinking about everything. Something that was small I made it big. Women. Hmm hmm. Problem's everywhere. Everything was perfect last night but today not anymore.
Two of my beloved people sick. Mom and him, I'm scared. That cautious feeling in my self after my dad left me and my uncle and the next person I don't know maybe me my self are going to be taken from this world and return to Him. About mom and him, I can bear it anymore if they leaving me. God help me to be strong because I'm not that strong but with you I'm strong. Without you I'm nothing. I'm in PJ and mom in Kelantan. We're far apart, it's not I don't want to talk or to know or to ask about her condition but I'm scared with the answers that I'll receive from one of my siblings that mom is not as strong as before. It makes me sad and weak. I hate to lose someone in my life again. Especially mom, I'm sorry mom I can't talk to you right now. I can't hear your voice right now and I can't take care of you right now.
Is this some kind of traumatize? Sad disorder? When I think about something I'll be extremely sad like I'm the saddest person in this world. Arifah is not that strong but with Allah she'll try to be strong and hide all those feelings behind the smile that is faking everyone all the time. I'm sorry, I don't talk that much laugh that much anymore. I want to laugh but I can't when I knew that both of them are sickening right now.
I only can take care of him right now. Mom I wanted to take care of you. Very much. I want to go home I want to hug you mom. I wanted to hug you like there's no tomorrow anymore. I'm sorry mom. I can't held my tears when I hear your voice. It's so saddening and tearing my heart. That soft voice is going to kill me in silence. All the advice that I've got from you mom, the best advice and opinions in this world. No one can replace your love on me Mom. I love you Mek.
Walaikumusalam.
20 December 2013
Suddenly
There was one night, I was walking alone along the street in a dark. It was like I was trapped in a some place of no where, everything was dark. I was in a dark place. Suddenly I saw a light, a dim light. I thought I was dead, maybe I was dead for a while but after I followed the dim light it became bright and brighter. Suddenly I saw a moving hut (roof made by dried coconut leaves, had four wheels so people who selling the hot dogs can easily moving around from place to another places) selling some hot dogs from a distance, well I love sausage, of course I'll get excited to get near to it. So I ran and ran and keep on running like I've never eat for a year, that feeling was suddenly appeared in my heart after I saw the one and only brightest stall with the darkest background in a place of no where, I don't have any idea where I was at that time, all I thought was "Hell no, ain't gonna let the stall disappear from here, there must be many sausages at the stall plus maybe I can get the biggest sausage in my life."
Okay where was I? Oh, while I was running recklessly towards it, I heard a voice whispering at my right ear. "Dangerous, back off freak!" I stopped running. "Ouch! Don't shout! Just keep going with the whisper next time." While I was almost near the moving hut, popped out three middle age males behind it (All three of them have a mustache with almost six feet heights, wearing black coats and black pedora hats). I shocked and screamed. "Aa! Who are you?" One of them answered, "Well we are the owner of this hut. What are you doing out here alone young lady? Aren't you scared of rapist would be wandering around searching for their victims? Hahah!" They laughed evilly together. "Are you guys the rapist? Aren't you?" Then I shut my mouth hurriedly using my hands, why would I asked them that kind of question. The most idiot question I had asked to male strangers in a middle of no where.This was scariest thing I've done in my life. They stared while smiling meaningfully towards me, I had asked them again, "Wait wait, You guys are the rapist? Aren't you?" I shut my mouth again while patting it. "What an idiot little girl that we have here. Catch her!" One of them told the others to catch me. I thought that one a bit taller than others was the boss of the others maybe smarter than the others that was why he was the boss. So I ran and ran and keep on running again, I ran as fast as I can, I ran all out of my breath, I ran like there will be no tomorrow any more because they ran like jaguars that was why I ran crazily even though I can't run that fast but I tried so hard to run away from them. I turned my head back and I saw their eyes were turning red, guess what I saw their fangs. Well this was more than I expected, "Mam! I'm sorry we're not like you're expecting. We're not the rapist but we're draculas!" They shouted at me in once, I was like oh my God my ears burning listened to what they had said. Well I guess this was it I turn my head in front and I ran like I'm going to shit in a second.
Suddenly I felt my legs like they're heavy, it seemed like it was stuck by something sticky and my hands were holding on something. It was like if I released that thing from my hands, I'll fall with regrets. I can't run anymore my my steps getting bigger and heavier than usual, well actually I was walking using two long bamboo sticks which I had to hold it together using both of my hands to make it balanced so I won't fall (Sticks that used to be use by Jackie Chan to train his kung fu with Low Pa). "Get her! We'll be having a big feast tonight!" The boss shouted at others, two of them stopped and said something. "Wait a minute, well we're struggling getting her and you just shout at us to get her?" The other one said, "Yeah! This is unfair. Why don't you get her while we're staying here watching you to get her plus we're fat we can't run that fast to catch a girl on the bamboo sticks. What? She's riding sticks? Where do the sticks come from?" While they're arguing I was struggling to get away from them. Fortunately I've made it, I lost them but I've got to keep going because they might be searching for me right now. The darkness fading away and now I can see the sky. Well, seriously these sticks made me felt like I was up high in the sky, I can touch the sky and put the stars and the moon together in a group so they'll be happy to be friends, they might can be good buddies like best friends forever story never last. Nah nonsense, well when I looked back again for the how many times I forgot, they all gone, I was so glad but still I've got to hurry. They might be calling for back up.
My legs hurt, I looked at them but guess what I saw, "Woah! What's this place?" Suddenly, I was in Japan. It was like Hokkaido, actually I've never went to Hokkaido but I used to see a picture of that place. It was a blast an awesome place with the flowers, the breeze of the wind from the hills, and the Japanese houses made my woods like cabins almost. Then there was a knocked in my head, "Ouch! That's hurt." I had been stabbed by something on my heart, that stabber made my feeling to search for him, my boyfriend. Well I don't know what was the stabber actually. Never mind, I've got to seek some help from him. I was on my way to his house, well I don't know that I had a boyfriend living in Japan. I jumped off from the bamboo sticks that I used just now, threw it away and suddenly my feet stepped the first step by its own. I really didn't have any idea where they brought me to so I just let them walked by themselves to see where they're trying to bring me to.
Well this was it, a Japanese house like a cabin surrounded by other Japanese houses like cabins. How did they knew this was his house? So I knocked the front door, no answered. I went to the back door, it was sliding door for the back door, it widely opened. "Hello?" I tried to get someone. I was trying to enter his house but suddenly some voice stopped me from doing it. It heard someone was whining, I mean more to crying softly. Then I took a peak. Well guess what, I saw a girl, a beautiful and young girl, she might be in my age, I mean our age crying while standing near the window pane. Suddenly, this part a bit annoyed me, a guy that I called a boyfriend came and pursued her not to cry with a hug. "Panggg!" My heart broken into pieces that can't be collected anymore, that can't be patched by anything, glue, stapler, any kind of things that can fix something. They both shocked and shivered, the girl stopped crying and asked him, "What was that?" "It might be a hungry stray cat, Now now come here girl. Don't be sad, I love you." The girl started to cry again. My boyfriend said that to a girl that I've never saw since I was with him. "Panggg!" My heart was breaking into the smallest pieces that can't be seen by anyone except plankton and other smallest creatures. They stopped again and began to stutter, "Seriously, what was that again?" "Now my girl, it's okay like I said it was a stray cat. Come let me hug you, calm down my dear." He said that, by the way he never pursued me using that very nice tones and words. I was like cursed you Lucifer and Pussy cat! I ran away from the house with sadness and disappointed towards someone that I've trusted, was a loyal and charming man I've ever had in my life. Well, he was a jerk now and then I keep on running. And suddenly, I went home, "This is my home?" A pigsty like with the big puddle fulled with mud and trashes in it while surrounded with fences! "What the Oinnkkk! I just squeled!" I looked at my self in the water nearby the big puddle. Well, suddenly, "I'm a pig?!"
Well, actually it was just a nightmare, one of my crazy nightmare that appeared in my dream last night. Of course, there's no such thing will happen in anyone's life, isn't?
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